Not everyone believes this but the emotional and mental aspects of a person, when combined, leads to better self improvement.  Also the emotional and mental aspects when not well managed can lead to stress and illness.

Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we do not want it to happen sometimes. The society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.

No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.

Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?

People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.

There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.

For example, when you were a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be heartbroken. Your parents will probably buy you another goldfish but the sorrow is still there.

Things get even more complex when you become an adult. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will not notice the sun shining and you would not be tempted to stop at a roadside stand to pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables.

All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.

In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.

That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.

Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot.

Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.

You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.

The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life’s problems, may it be a small or big problem. It serves only as an escape route.

You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.

This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.

Recently, a few friends of mine were diagnosed as Vitamin D deficient by their doctors. Incidentally they were all in their forties or 50s.  One of the reasons age might play a part is that they had become sedentary and since it was Fall and Winter season, their life style aided to the deficiency as they stayed indoors more. 50,000 units of Vitamin D taken weekly helped…but they now spend more time outdoors and thankfully it is Summer. They were also taking more outdoors walks by the end of Winter.

The D vitamin is the only vitamin that is not obtained from foods that are consumed.  Instead, the D vitamin is actually obtained by sunlight on our skin. There has been a lot of media coverage about the dangers of getting too much sun however, it is essential that the skin is exposed to sunlight to obtain the recommended daily allowance of the D vitamin. In reality, the amount of time that a person has to spend in the sun to receive a sufficient dose of the D vitamin is extremely small and just a few minutes a day will be sufficient and not have any adverse effects from the amount of ultra-violet light received.

The most important function of the D vitamin is to help control how much calcium is absorbed from food. The majority of the calcium is used to build strong teeth and bones but it is also needed to send messages along the nerves and to help muscles, such as the heart muscles, to contract. It is the D vitamin that ensures that there is always sufficient calcium in the blood to perform these tasks. Other functions that require the D vitamin relate to the immune system and it is believed that it is also a contributing factor in reducing the risk of contracting cancer and, in particular, colon cancer.

The variant of the D vitamin that is formed under the skin is known as vitamin D3, or cholecalciferol. This D vitamin is created when the ultraviolet in the sunlight reacts with a type of cholesterol that is found under the skin naturally. The D3 is converted into a more active form of the D vitamin in the liver and is then diverted to where it is needed the most. Some of the D vitamin remains in the liver and kidneys to help reabsorb the calcium from the blood. The rest of the D vitamin is dispersed to the bones to help them retain their calcium and the intestines to aid absorption of calcium from food.

Even though the majority of the D vitamin is formed through the exposure of the skin to sunlight there are some foods that do contain some of the vitamin naturally. This form of the D vitamin is known as vitamin D2, or ergocalciferol. This is used in the same way as the other D vitamins and is the type used to create the majority of D vitamin supplements.

Be gentle with yourself when you decide to try and kick the procrastination habit.  It may be so ingrained that you don’t fully recognize all the ways you actually procrastinate. Start out by taking a large or complicated task and breaking it down into smaller parts that you can accomplish easier.  It’s important to bear in mind that the most difficult or complex tasks are simply just a series of smaller jobs.

Make a verbal commitment to someone else about improving your time management skills and your desire to avoid procrastinating. Allow others to become involved in your efforts by reviewing your progress, helping you set deadlines or evaluating your results can be very helpful.  This will most likely create a commitment on your part to fulfill the expectations they’ve set for you.

Sit down and map out a plan to manage your time more effectively.  When a deadline is looming, make sure you allot time each day to work on the project so it doesn’t sneak up on you in the final hours or days. When you learn to respect your datelines, you begin to observe how you manage your time.

Learn to ask for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed or overworked. Learning to ask is very important.

Reward yourself for good behavior and accomplished goals. Don’t wait until you’ve accomplished the ultimate goal, but reward yourself for your successes along the way.  Make sure the reward is something you like to do.  Treat yourself to the newest book by your favorite author and take the time to read it.  Indulge in bubble baths or relaxing music.  If you’ve gotten into the habit of working late, make sure you develop a new habit of going home on time each night.

Today is yesterday’s tomorrow!  Think if you had done it yesterday it would have been over with by now. Do not look back next year and say ‘if I had done it last year….” Do it now so next year opens up new adventures and possibilities for you.

By making a commitment to avoid the avoiding habit, you’ll soon be well on your way to finding more time and find yourself more relaxed and productive and less stressed in the process.

Whatsoever thou resolvest to do, do it quickly. Defer not till the evening what the morning may accomplish. — Unto thee I Grant.

Whether your traveling, on the go or around the
home, you don’t need to give up healthy eating
simply because you are on the run.  The fact is,
healthy eating is even more important when your
trying to keep up with a busy schedule.

Having a good diet will help your body to handle
stress better.  As you hustle about, a healthy meal
is probably the last thing you think about.  The
following tips can help you eat when your on the go.

Restaurants
With tempting menus, large portions, and a festive
atmosphere, it’s easy to skip healthy eating.  It’s
okay to splurge every now and then, although you’ll
pack on a lot of weight if you make it a habit.
When you eat out at restaurants, always be smart
about it.

Airports
An airport can be a very stressful place, although
you shouldn’t scrap your diet because of it.  Eat
because you are hungry, not because of stress,
boredom, or to kill time.

In your car
Keep some healthy snacks in your car at all times,
so that when you get hungry – you have them.

At home
Evenings and mornings are busy times in most homes.
Making the time to eat can be hard, although you
shouldn’t run out the door without eating breakfast
first.  Cereal with milk, a banana, muffin, or even
a bagel is a great way to start the day.

Have a bottle of water handy at all times, and
periodically take a sip and before long you would
have finished the whole bottle.

Anytime you are on the go, always make sure that you
make the right food decisions.  You can take healthy
food with you if you need to, so that you have it
when you need it.  Eating healthy on the go is easy
to do, once you know how.  Never sacrifice healthy
food for junk, as your body will regret it later.

• How can we created fulfilling relationships using comic laws
• How do we lay a good foundation?
• How can you rebuild broken relationships built on a crooked foundation or no foundation at all?
• How can we use Circles, Triangles, Squares, rectangles, quadrants, the sun and leaves to create fulfilling relationships?
• How to develop spiritual sight.
• Why are we all in this together?
• What is the real spiritual meaning of sex.?
• Why when young teens engage in sex prematurely their grades begin to slip and why young women can handle the provoked energy a little better than the boys.
• Why a man and a woman can live together for years as a couple but after being officially pronounced ‘husband (or man) and wife’ all hell breaks loose there after.
• Why man is consumed with Sex
• Why and how past sexual encounters still affect you today.
• How the villager men created energy for wrestling
• Why most men find themselves going round and round in circles and success keeps slipping out of their hands though very brilliant.
• What is the energy that is created when a man and a woman comes together in a relationship?
• Why do most successful men since Biblical times engaged their destiny more successfully after marrying?
• Why are more highly successful and creative men from time immemorial engage the company of women?
• How and why woman (Mother) and Mother Earth is the seed of all that is created on earth.
• The secret behind why virgins (women) were sort but still needed to be cleansed since Biblical times (e.g. Queen Esther, and Abishag in the Bible) and in Malah also.
• What happens when negative things done secretly come to Light?
• The creative power of thought, how/why it works and how to use it
• The power of the word, how/why it works and how to use it.
• Why as kids we were very successful with ‘verbal contracts.’
• What is prayer and how is it possible to pray without ceasing?
• Why a village or anyone who has never heard the words meditation, visualization, mantras and affirmations, can  still create successfully?
• Why is it that with elderly couples, if the woman dies first the husband might not live long after that, but not vice versa?
• Why do men come home (even to abusive relationships) even for a few minutes before going back out?
• Why is it that when a partner is fighting and you come to save the woman, she might even turn against you though all bruised up?
• What happens when a man ‘Yokes Into’ a good woman or a ‘bad’ woman?
• How man and woman can create at the highest level.
• Why partners come before children.
• Why man cannot leave his parents and cleave with woman (what it really means)
• Why is sex such an issue in the Western world while the rest of the world money is the issue?
• The secret of how King David in the Bible and other ancient greats created.
• The secret of using your name and knowing those of your ancestors.
• The power of touch, voice, looks and silence.
• How to know yourself
• Why evil is inevitable and how to transmute it as matter can not be created or destroyed but converted from one form to another.
• Why none of God’s children complained when Satan showed up at God’s family reunion with His kids (Book of Job.)
• Why woman is responsible for her own reproductive system and not a man.
• Why man is like a tree and woman like Mother Earth
• How to imitate the seasons of the year
• How to use your sport to ‘game’ your relationships such as golf, football, soccer, tennis
• Why and how relationships are for spiritual growth.
• What is the ‘stone’ and where it dwells
• Why Dr. Morgan stole the stone.
• Who Maya (Queen) Sophia really is.
• Why Angie’s boyfriends did not respect her and how she turned that around.
• Why the changing of the dollar bill will provoke havoc.
• How and why your success is the success of your family, your corporation, your country and hence the world…how we are all linked and in this together. You are a very important piece of the puzzle and without you the puzzle is not complete.
• How to form your own personal constitution; any successful Country, business and organization has one.
• How no matter what your problem is, it can be resolved.

Resolve issues on the topics above or others you may be interested in.

It is helpful to have visual goals. whatsoever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time.

Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your spotlight.

Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep mental lists instead.

Putting something in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give yourself once you have accomplished the task.

After all, everyone likes to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a simple pat on the back, “good job”, or “thank you” may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available. Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own through pleasing yourself.

Abusive people lower your self-esteem and bring you down. Get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think happy thoughts.

These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than wait for things to happen, try to be proactive and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.

Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others’ experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.

Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.

Having enumerated all these tips and tricks to attain self-motivation, but still you seem to feel lacking that much needed drive, there is one last thing that you must try.

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, JUST DO IT! Keep on aiming high and go for it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal. Divide and conquer is the key.

Break down the apparently unattainable activity to small doable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the “in the meantime” results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.

Lack of motivation happens to us all, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.

And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.

Obesity, when not treated properly and as early as possible, can be carried on to teen years, and eventually, to adult years. Of course, when a person is obese, it is the abnormally fat figure which is always being ridiculed, bullied, and harassed at. Unfortunately, the problem goes beyond the appearance and social distraction.

Obesity, as clinically discovered, can lead to some chronic diseases, such as heart failure and diabetes. It can even go worse, as these diseases can hit a person as early as in their childhood obese years.

So, instead of giving in to your children’s craving of sugar-loaded and fattening foods or unhealthy habits of being inactive most of the day, start looking out for the best weight control program for children. This is imperative if you don’t want to see your children suffering from chronic diseases and be plagued with expensive hospital treatments. Get the children involved in the food making process and make it fun.

If you can’t simply get your obese child to eating the right or healthy foods, just think of the life and death matter, which is not a far possibility if not given the right treatment. There are many approaches available for you to successfully lure your children to get treated, to eat healthily, and live normally, just like other healthy children. So, there is no big deal if you’re thinking how you can encourage your child.

When choosing weight control program for children, you need to be very careful. If you are thinking you can apply your kind of diet, it isn’t going to treat the obesity problem of your child. This is because children basically need different kinds of nutrition as you do.

Children need parents’ guidance; in some houses the kids are guiding the parents as to what the kids should eat. Their knowledge is limited and their requests are mostly guided by their feelings. Parents need to guide their children to choices rooted in sound and healthy principles.

Weight control programs for adults are different from weight control for children. It is therefore recommended that you consult with the right persons, such as a pediatrician or nutritionist, before you submit your child to a specific weight control program.

The diet with which children are subjected to focuses on lowering weight gain while they are growing. It emphasizes the need of resorting to healthy eating habits as well as active lifestyle rather than just being in front of the television or computer sets all the time.

Now, when it comes to talking or encouraging your child into undergoing a specific weight control program, this not a difficult phase at all. What you need to do is to ensure you show your support and love for them. Make sure you are clear about how you are very much concerned over their health and future well-being.

Also, it is important that you guide them all throughout their childhood to teen years and even from teen to adult years. It is also a big factor to being successful in treating obesity problems if you can be a role model to them, from your eating habits, activeness, and healthy living ways. If you can increase family activities, then you even increase chances of being successful in this matter.

When children are older or have their own children, they will look back on the way you guided them and either be grateful or disappointed because by then they would have also learned more about food and nutrition and health related issues.

The most important function of the D vitamin is to help control how much calcium is absorbed from food. The majority of the calcium is used to build strong teeth and bones but it is also needed to send messages along the nerves and to help muscles, such as the heart muscles, to contract. It is the D vitamin that ensures that there is always sufficient calcium in the blood to perform these tasks. Other functions that require the D vitamin relate to the immune system and it is believed that it is also a contributing factor in reducing the risk of contracting cancer and, in particular, colon cancer.

The variant of the D vitamin that is formed under the skin is known as vitamin D3, or cholecalciferol. This D vitamin is created when the ultraviolet in the sunlight reacts with a type of cholesterol that is found under the skin naturally. The D3 is converted into a more active form of the d vitamin in the liver and is then diverted to where it is needed the most. Some of the D vitamin remains in the liver and kidneys to help reabsorb the calcium from the blood. The rest of the D vitamin is dispersed to the bones to help them retain their calcium and the intestines to aid absorption of calcium from food.

Even though the majority of the D vitamin is formed through the exposure of the skin to sunlight there are some foods that do contain some of the vitamin naturally. This form of the D vitamin is known as vitamin D2, or ergocalciferol. This is used in the same way as the other D vitamins and is the type used to create the majority of D vitamin supplements.

If you work in an office, make it a habit to take a little walk at lunch time. Eat for 15 minutes and walk the rest of your lunch break. Besides, I find walking to be very mind freeing and I remember all the things I had forgotten to do while at the office.

Here is to sunshine…be one to someone!

When the words oils and fats are mentioned, health-conscious individuals tend to run for cover. What they fail to realize is that there are good fats and bad fats. Complete avoidance of intake of oils and fats would actually be detrimental – rather than beneficial – to their health.

The Truth about Fish Oil
Essential fatty acids must always be part of our daily diet – without them, we take one step closer to our deaths. Essential fatty acids are divided into two families: omega-6 EFAs and omega-3 EFAS.

Although there are only very slight differences to distinguish the two groups of essential fatty acids from each other, studies have revealed that too much intake of omega-6 EFAs can lead to inflammation, blood clotting and tumor growth. The good news, however, is that the opposite is true for omega-3 EFAs. Omega-6 EFAs can be found in vegetable oils while omega-3 EFAs can be found in fish oils among other foods.

Omega-6 vs. Omega-3
Physicians and scientists are of the same opinion that the cause behind increasing cases of heart disease, hypertension or high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, premature aging and certain kinds of cancer is none other than an imbalanced intake of omega-3 and omega-6 EFAs.

As mentioned earlier on, omega-6 EFAs can be found in vegetable oils. This includes but is not limited to corn oil and soy oil, both of which contains high amounts of linoleic acid. Omega-3 EFAs on the other hand can be found also in marine plankton and walnut and flaxseed oils. It should be significant to take note that fatty fish and fish oils contain eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), fatty acids that have been observed to provide many benefits to the human body. In the early 1970’s, a study on Greenland Eskimos have revealed that one of the major reasons why they rarely suffer from heart diseases is because of their high-fat diet (mainly composed of fish).

The two essential fatty acids, EPA and DHA, are also helpful in preventing atherosclerosis, heart attacks, depression and various forms of cancer. Fish oil supplemented food have also proven to be useful in treating illnesses like rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, Raynaud’s disease and ulcerative colitis.

Other Benefits of Fish Oil
There are a lot more illnesses and situations in which intake of fish oil has proven to be significantly beneficial.

Making the Heart Healthier
The heart is inarguably one of the most important parts of our body and having an unhealthy heart means having to suffer a rather limited lifespan. Naturally, it’s in our best interests to keep our hearts happy and healthy and one way of doing that is eating food that contains fish oil.

In Athens, Greece, for instance, a study was made to show if there was a direct relationship between high fish diet and inflammation of blood vessels. The results revealed that those who ate more fish than the others had a lower level of C-reactive protein and interleukin-6, factors that are commonly used to measure likelihood of blood vessel inflammation. These benefits remained even when the various risks associated with high fish diet were taken into account.

Fish to Become Thin
In Perth, Australia, a study had revealed that fish consumption can be used against hypertension and obesity. Researchers of the UWA (University of Western Australia) have discovered that a weight-loss diet which includes a regular amount of fish consumption can be quite effective in reducing blood pressure and improving glucose tolerance.

Fish Oil to Combat Asthma
People suffering from respiratory problems like asthma tend to be perceived as unfit and unhealthy. They should now be pleased to learn that certain studies have revealed the benefits of fish oil for asthma-burdened-individuals. Statistics show that approximately 20 to 25% of children today suffer one form of asthma or another at a certain point in their lives. And certain evidence reveals a regular diet of food with high linoleic acid content as the reason behind it.

Researchers of UW (University of Wyoming) conducted a study by subjecting a number of children to a high-fish diet while others continued with their regular diet. Results revealed that the participants who ate more fish were less prone to asthma attacks and were able to breathe more easily as well.

Consult Your Nutritionist Now
Nothing is good when consumed or used excessively but complete avoidance of a particular food type is equally harmful as well. Ask your nutritionist for the right amount of fish intake for your age and health status.

With regular exercise you’ll notice that your quality
of sleep is improved and the transition between the
cycles and phases of sleep will become smoother and
more regular.  By keeping up your physical activity
during the day, you may find it easier to deal with
the stress and worries of your life.

Research and studies indicate that there is a direct
correlation between how much we exercise and how
we feel afterwards.

You should try and increase your physical activity
during the day.  The goal here is to give your body
enough stimulation during the day so that you aren’t
full of energy at night.

Your body requires a certain amount of physical
activity in order to keep functioning in a healthy
manner.  It is also important to note that you should
not be exercising three or four hours before you go
to bed.

The ideal exercise time is in the late afternoon or
early evening.  You want to make sure you expend
your physical energy long before it is time for
your body to rest and ready itself for sleep.

You should attempt to exercise at least three or
four times a week for a period of 30 minutes or so.
You can include walking or something simple.  If
you prefer, you can include strenuous activities
such as running as well.

The goal here is to increase your heart rate and
strengthen the capacity of your lungs.  By adding
a regular exercise activity to your daily schedule
will help you to improve your overall health and
help you emotionally as well.

Along with running and walking there are several
other physical activities that you can add to your
daily life to increase your level of physical
activity.  If you are battling not sleeping, you’ll
find aerobic exercise to be the best.

Your goal with exercise is to increase the amount
of oxygen that reaches your blood stream.  Overall,
there are many types of aerobic exercise for you
to choose from.  The activities include running,
biking, using a treadmill, dancing, and jumping
rope.

There are some non aerobic exercises that you may
find beneficial to help you solve your amnesia
problem.

Yoga
Yoga is an exercise that has a stimulatory effect
on your nervous system, especially the brain.  Yoga
utilizes breathing techniques and yoga postures to
increase the blood circulation to the brain, promoting
regular and restful sleeping patterns.  The regular
practice of yoga will help you to relax as well
as relieve tension and stress.

Tai Chi
Tai Chi is an ancient art of breathing and movement
that was developed by the Chinese monks.  The
movements involved are slow and precise, which is
ideal if you have joint pains or you are unable
to participate in high aerobic exercises.  Research
has shown that Tai Chi can help with insomnia by
promoting relaxation.

If you discover that you don’t have any time to
exercise on a regular basis, you should try to
sneak moments of activity into your schedule.
Whenever possible, you should take the stairs instead
of the elevator, as little things like that will
do wonders for your body.

You should also park your car around the corner and
walk that extra block or two to get to your
destination.  As you may know, there are many small
things you can add to increase the activity in
your life.  Your overall goal here is to have a
healthy and well balanced life – with plenty of
sleep.

Here is to a great nights rest!

Time is essential, since time runs out quick. For this reasons, you want to invest time, and spend your time wisely. Spending time wisely includes activities, entertainment, work, quality time and so on.

The average person spends most of their day working. At the end of the day they return home to spend time watching television, or engaging in activities with the family. Unfortunately, family is a thing of the past. If you want to improve your personal life, you are going to have to put family first. If you have wife and kids, or husband and kids, you will need to learn how to invest time with the family. Unfortunately, you have five or six hours after a day of work to do this. You also want time for self.

To achieve a time frame that works for everyone try considering discovering new interests. When you discover new ideas, it will help you open the doors to success. Your directions in life are based on new ideas. For instance, if you come home after work most times without spending time with the family, try practicing eating at the dinner table each night with your family. Do not allow room for excuses. As you feast together, take time to ask how each person’s day went. This has proven to enhance relationships. When you enhance relationship, you are also building a new bridge to personal improvement.

One of the biggest mistakes some people make is hanging out with poor influences. If you hang out with poor influences, you are wasting time. Your values are low. You will need to build your values to improve your personal life by changing company. You want to hang around with positive influences. Let me draw you a picture.

If you always hang around at bars late with your friends, you are wasting time. In time, you will face court costs, fines, and perhaps jail, especially if you visit the bars and drive home after drinking. In time, you will learn new bad habits. Each bad habit you learn takes over your life, which only keeps you down. Sometimes you do not even realise you have formed bad habits until something happens or you read or see a story on Tv and you identify with it.

Finding new positive influences is a key to success. Anyone who thinks positive will rub off on you, helping you to develop good habits. When you find friends that care about you, you will have friends that do not allow your to drink and drive. You will have friends that care about your future. My friend’s mother says if you hang out with babies, soon you will start talking baby-talk.

To make new friends you have to learn communication skills. Don’t be afraid to smile and say hi. There is nothing wrong with being friendly. One has to use good judgment however, since this world is filled with bad characters that have harmful intents. In addition, many people today fear friendliness.

When you learn to communicate however, you are building blocks that lead you to a happier future. Failure to communicate is one of the leading reasons why businesses fail, relationships falter, children kill and so on. Communication comes in many forms. Sometimes when you sit and listen as well as pay attention to gestures or body languages you learn best. Observation is the ultimate key that helps you to gain successfully and learn to develop skills that lead you to improve your personal life.

You have many options in the world. Take those options, use them to your advantage and you are on the road to improving your personal life.

To improve your personal life you have to consider the whole pie. You have to review your liability, behaviors, actions, emotional responses, and overall standard of living. Once you review the details, you will find it easier to move ahead and make the necessary changes. To get started begin with a checklist.

How are your behaviors?
What are your behaviors? Do you engage in activities that lead toward negative consequences? Do you drink heavily? Do you drug? Do you smoke? Do you associate with the wrong crowd?

Once you write down your behaviors that pull down consider the details. If you engage in activities that lead toward negative consequences, likely you are not looking at the whole pie. Rather you may act before you speak or do something. What you need to do is to consider consequences before you speak or act. If you drink heavily, perhaps you have an alcohol problem. There is nothing wrong with admitting you have a problem. You will need to seek help. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. If you have a drug problem, you will need to apply the same rules mentioned when handling alcoholism. If you smoke, you want to consider ways to stop. You will need willpower and the goal to quite. If you associate with the wrong crowd, you will need to evaluate your situation. What do these people bring to your table? Do they give or take from you?

How do you handle problems?
Every day there is some kind of a problem that has to be thought out and decided what to do about the issue. What are some things that you can go to help? You should always think out the problem before you make a decision on the issue. You will make healthier decisions by looking at the entire picture. If the problem is too big for you to handle alone, ask for help. Talk with friends, family, or experts.

How about paying bills:
DO you pay bills on time? Paying bills is a major problem that leads to many hassles. If you pay your bills on time however, you can reduce some of these hassles. Failing to pay bills only builds stress. You will need to set a budget that works within your means to pay your bills on time. Maybe you can get a better paying job, so you make more money.
There might be some times that you are late but you should try to keep up as best as you can this will help take off some stress.

Do you visit your doctor regularly?
Keeping your doctor visits and exercising will help relieve stress. Visiting your doctor regularly will help you keep an eye on your health. Healthy people live a productive life.

What actions do you take to improve your life?
As long as you think things out before you make a decision you will work to improve your personal life. You will also need to take steps to reduce stress, by avoiding harmful actions, such as smoking, drugs, or alcoholism. You can benefit by paying bills on time, visiting your doctor, exercise the mind and body daily and so on.

If you have problems quitting on your own, remember help is available. You have many options, including inpatient services, outpatient services, group support, one-on-one services and more. To learn more about these services go online. You will also find help at local government agencies in your area.

To improve your life you can also volunteer to help someone. You can wrap a gift this year for a homeless or deprived child. Many things you can do to improve your personal life.

Chapter 2

A crab does not know there are two kinds of water until it gets into hot water. (African proverb)

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree: What city moms didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationship

“What’s up?” I asked into the receiver after seeing Rose’s number on the caller ID.

“Micah has been hit by a car and he is in surgery at Pierre Memorial

Hospital,” Rose breathlessly responded. I immediately felt the urgency of

her words.

Now, one thing to know about Rose, if she reacts to anything you better

jump. If there is a human being on earth I have met that controls her emotions,

it is my friend and cousin Rose. If there were such a thing, she’d have a PhD in Emotion Control.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Listen, Niet, meet me at the hospital,” and she hung up the phone. I

gasped. An explanation from her would apparently have to wait. My aunt who

happened to be visiting from Africa, aunty Maya Sophia, must have heard the

tension in my voice, for she immediately rushed over to me.

Before I continue, I should set the foundation for you. This story is really

about my aunty Maya Sophia and what she taught my friends and me about

relationships, nature, and energy. If Micah had not been hit by Mrs. Williams’

car, I doubt we would have had a story to tell. But I now know there are no

coincidences.

“If something has happened to a family member back home, just tell me.

If you hide anything from me I’ll die,” Maya Sophia proclaimed to me and

broke into sobs.

Maya might as well have been a psychic. In the eleven months she has

stayed with me, I came to learn there is much about nature that I cannot

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Esther Lamnyam

explain. And just because I cannot explain it does not mean that it is not there

or it does not happen. Maya and my father are cousins; however, don’t try to

draw family trees when it comes to Africans, as you don’t have enough paper

width. Cousins are like soapy ropes that go on and on and on. For example,

Rose and I believed we were cousins until I came to America and learned to

be individualistic and trace family trees. I then discovered we were not blood

cousins but grew up together as such. Th at knowledge, however, did not change

the relationship we had established since childhood.

How could I tell Maya Sophia that Micah had been hit by a car? I believed

one of the main reasons she had stayed in the U.S. so long was because she

had Micah, Taylor, and Kellie to hang out with once everyone left for work.

She hated the fact that we closed the door on her and stayed at our jobs all day

and she could not even stroll in the neighborhood for fear of what she saw on

TV. Micah loved her and she loved Micah and doted on him. A grandparent’s

love is different and special, and she knew how to love even though she never

uttered the word love.

Hearing Micah was at the hospital was hard enough for me, but telling

Maya Sophia was even harder. I must have looked deeply saddened as she

started that dance that only African mothers can do. She took one step, stood

still, and then started tapping her right foot on the floor while undulating her

torso gently.

“I can’t be in a strange land if someone has died back home,” she pleaded.

I was not ready for this today.

“Maya,” I said, “it is Micah,” but before I could complete my sentence she

screamed.

“He will be okay,” I consoled myself. “He is at the hospital and we have to

meet Rose and his parents there.”

“If something happens to my grandson,” she wept, “you will bury me in

America; you will bury me in America.” She ran into her bedroom, put on her

sandals, changed her head scarf, and charged for the door.

No matter what happened, Maya Sophia could never be buried anywhere

except on a particular plot of land, as she is the queen. She is the female

equivalent to the chief and if you know a little bit about the African culture,

you know how hard it has been for me hosting her. But was her visit really what

she originally told me it was? I was to find out otherwise later.

I would like to tell you I am a cautious driver everyday, but I would be

lying, for on this day I had two eyes, literally. I had one eye on the road ahead

and one eye scanning the rear view mirror and the environs for “crabs” with

red and blue tops.

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree

9

In the emergency room, Angie, Julie, James, and Rose anxiously waited.

Julie would sit down, and then stand up at the sound of any approaching feet,

hoping it was a nurse or doctor with news for them. James came over and put

his arms around his wife and felt her body shake within his hold. They silently

prayed together for their son. James had a very uneasy feeling in his stomach,

a feeling he had learned to recognize after the time his best friend was in a

fatal accident in graduate school. He had that same feeling hours before he

received the phone call about the accident. That loss led him into a two year

depression. The feeling did not come often, but he knew to start praying when

it did. To him it was a sign of tough times ahead. Right now that sickening

feeling haunted him. He knew if he lost Micah he would lose the will to live,

and he certainly couldn’t handle the depression again.

Micah was their only child and it had taken them three years to get

pregnant. At first they were not serious about getting pregnant, but when

they decided to, it was hard for Julie to conceive. They had nearly settled into

the fact that a baby was not in their future when Julie got pregnant. Micah was

their miracle baby.

“Please, God, save my son, my only begotten son,” James prayed. His

prayer interrupted when Dr. Arthur Morgan walked briskly towards him.

Before he could ask how Micah was doing, Dr. Morgan said, “We need another

sample of your blood right away, Mr. Walker.”

“But,” James began, “I just gave some blood a few minutes ago. Is my son

dying? Why does he need so much blood?”

“Yes, I know you just gave blood,” Dr. Morgan answered, “but we just need

another sample to be doubly sure.”

“I am the boy’s dad, for God’s sake! Why do you need to test my blood

before giving it to my bleeding son?” James argued. Pierre Memorial hospital

was one of the best hospitals in the area, so James couldn’t fathom a mistake.

Why would they mess up my fi rst blood sample? James wondered. He hoped they

had not given his son the wrong blood type from another person. He had heard

in the news and read on the Internet that hospitals these days were making lots

of mistakes. If so, this hospital would be hearing from him and his lawyers.

Was Micah going to make it? His heart beat fast, but before he could ask

about his son, Dr. Morgan disappeared back into surgery room 3 and a lab

technician led him away through double doors to prick his vein again.

In the OR, Dr. Morgan discussed the situation with Dr. Pat Naor, Dr.

Moris Genesis, and two residents. Micah’s left leg was broken, his right arm

sprained, and he had a severe concussion. So far he had lost a lot of blood.

“Micah’s blood is type O. The blood type taken from his dad was AB,”

Dr. Morgan reminded them. “Micah is not adopted and from all we learned

10

Esther Lamnyam

in medical school and practice, we know James Walker cannot possibly be

Micah’s dad.” Dr. Morgan determined.

Since Micah’s blood type was rare, the immediate donors, who were luckily

present, had to be blood-related parents. However, based on the report given

by the lab technicians, James was not a match for Micah’s blood.

“So the lab technicians may have made a mistake, the first they have made

in years. Nevertheless, if it is indeed a mistake, it could cost little Micah his

life, as time is of the essence here,” Dr. Pat Naor stated, checking Micah’s blood

pressure again.

Micah’s blood pressure was dropping while that of his father was rising.

Beads of sweat dampened James’ brow while Julie paced the waiting room

talking to herself. Dr. Morgan had a feeling if he lost the boy, they might have

another emergency room situation with the dad.

“What about the mom?” Dr. Genesis inquired. “What blood type is she?”

“The father was here first, so we sent him to the lab immediately. We

should get the mother’s blood type in a few minutes. We don’t need her blood

anymore anyway, but we need to figure out if this boy belongs to them,” Dr.

Morgan explained. He had already ordered blood from the hospital blood

bank. Memories of his past flashed through his mind. He, too, had a sense of

foreboding.

Nurse Janet had worked by Dr. Morgan’s side for years. She understood

him more than anyone else. Not even Dr. Morgan’s wife had the type of

understanding Nurse Janet had of Dr. Morgan. It was almost like she could

read his mind, eyes, body language, and anticipate his every move. They were

like seasoned poker partners. She could predict all his quirks, down to his

habit of humming under his breath while doing surgery.

Over the years she had come to know the different tunes and what they

meant as far as the difficulty of the emergency surgery they were performing.

He would give instructions, explain the procedure, ask for equipment, and

immediately switch back to a hum. Today he was humming a tune she had

come to realize meant life or death for the patient. But on this day he kept

repeating the chorus over and over and she had a strange feeling the life and

death was not only for this kid who lay unconscious under the skillful tiny

fingers of Dr. Morgan.

Just like MaryAnn, Dr. Morgan’s wife, had noted that his head was

oversized for his body, Nurse Janet had noted that Dr. Arthur Morgan’s

thumbs were oversized compared to his fingers. They were, however, perfectly

suited for medical manipulations. One such example was that time in an

African village where, to stop a woman that had miscarried from bleeding to

death when nothing else would help, he manually massaged her cervix with

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree

11

his tiny hands to initiate clotting. This was not your traditional Western

doctor. In desperate situations he pulled out of his healing hat techniques he

learned in the South American, Asian, African, and Native Indian villages.

He got into trouble many times with the hospital administration for some

of the techniques he used, but he had yet to lose a patient because of those

unconventional methods.

12

Chapter 3

Dr. Arthur Morgan

Dr. Arthur Morgan was born in the African village of Malah. His father

was fifty-five years old and his mother forty-five years old at the time of his

birth. He was their retirement baby. His parents were not expecting a child

and when his mother Ruth Morgan got pregnant, they believed he was a gift

from God for their steadfastness and devotion to Him. He was their only child.

His father Dr. Paul Morgan was a Christian missionary who had been sent to

preach the Bible to these so-called poor atheist villagers to whom salvation was

supposedly denied just because they had never heard the name Jesus.

Young Arthur was enrolled in the local daycare and eventually attended

elementary school. He was tutored by his mother and other missionaries.

He got the best education in an environment where there were very little

distractions and progressed way ahead of his grade. He was an exceptionally

gifted student and excelled at all he did. At age eleven when most village kids

went to the mission boarding school, he was quickly sent to study in the United

States where he eventually went to medical school.

By age twenty-four he was already practicing medicine. His vacations to

Africa to see his parents had enabled him to practice medicine in the local

clinics and also learn unorthodox procedures which he from time to time used

now that he was well established in America.

After medical school he joined Doctors on the Move, a non-profit

organization for those in the medical field. They traveled around the world

healing and educating those less privileged. By age thirty-one he was ready to

set up his own practice in the U.S. He opened his office at Pierre Memorial

Hospital where he also worked as an emergency room doctor and taught at the

medical university. That was where Julie, James, and Micah Walker met him

on that preordained fateful day.

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree

13

One thing that always troubled Dr. Morgan’s mind were some stories his

father told him about his experiences in the village of Malah. One story in

particular had remained on his mind…

“The women in this tribe had all the power in the land.” Dr. Paul Morgan

retold the events to his son. “They could control the winds, the rains, and talk

to the trees and cattle.”

“Dad, as a Christian, you know that is not possible,” young Arthur argued.

“Son, I know what I saw happen in Malah. I wish I could explain in

scientific terms.”

“Maybe you were hallucinating. You know Africa is a hot continent;

Malah, especially, is not far from the equatorial belt, Dad.”

Being a scientist, if things could not be reproduced in the laboratory or a

controlled environment, it was not true to him.

What the Morgans had been too educated to know was that the Malah

Villagers were scientists also. While Dr. Morgan used a man-made office for

his laboratory, the villagers used their natural environment as their laboratory.

While he used rulers, slide rules, and chemicals as his ingredients, the villagers

used all elements of nature—grass, stones, wind, water, earth, fire, and air—as

their ingredients.

The villagers would wake up in the morning and gaze at the rising sun

and give you the weather forecast for the day. They would examine the new

moon and tell you more women than men would die that month. They

would wrap a string around a man’s neck for measurement and give you the

dimensions of the rest of his body parts. They would point at a man’s chest

and know exactly what measure of herbs to give him. They would follow a

dog into the forest, watch the herbs it ate, and study these herbs for medicinal

value. A dog, they said, would only eat grass if it was sick and needed a cure.

They would send out thunder and lightening to warn and destroy and then

safely bring it back to source. They used animal fur to heal serious burns,

leaving no scars.

The beautiful symbiotic relationship the villagers shared with nature was

about to be compromised by “Civilization.” Because Civilization had outgrown

its Source, it also lost its sight. Thus it lost its way back to the Source. But it

did not know that because it believed the world revolved around it.

Civilized Dr. Paul Morgan came to teach the natives the Bible; he came to

teach the natives their very culture.

“The women were powerful but they let the men lead them and be the head

of the household. Then men did something awful and the women, using this

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Esther Lamnyam

strange power they possessed, herded all the men like cattle to prison,” Daddy

Morgan continued. “The king rule, but the queen had all the power.”

He showed his son pictures of the king and the queen. Even from the

pictures Arthur could see that the woman commanded presence and power.

But he also noticed a very loving demeanor about her. He felt like touching

her skin. From time to time he would look at that picture after his father died

and run his finger over the queen’s face.

“Why was he king then, instead of the queen; just sitting on the throne?”

Arthur wanted to know.

“They believed that was the order of things. Man was the cocoon, and the

woman the spirit behind it all. She was the very essence of what man did and

accomplished,” Dr. Paul Morgan went on. “You see the trees, but you never talk

about the earth. Without the earth, there would be no trees.”

“These must have been some weak men to be led to jail by village women,”

Arthur retorted, finding this story by his dad foolish and unbelievable.

“No, the men were strong men. They were warriors and wrestlers. These

men put into today’s world would be envied, for they were well built and

muscular. If you take away the power of the earth, the trees would die a natural

death. There is a lot in the dirt that we don’t see.”

“Were the women carrying weapons?” Arthur pretended to believe his dad

for his father’s sake. Something about the story evoked emotion, but Arthur

fumbled to put the pieces together.

“No, the women were carrying eggs,” Daddy Morgan explained.

“Eggs?” My dad is getting too old and I am sure he is losing his mind. Arthur

made a mental note to have his dad checked at the hospital.

“Yes eggs, and the eggs were spinning in the women’s hands and they were

all chanting.”

“And the men did not break those eggs or eat them?”

“It was at one of the inter-village wrestling matches and all the men were

there. This was like the Super Bowl of wrestling. Wrestling in this village was

everything to the men. These men could control their muscles so well they

could get any muscle in their body to dance for the crowd. You should have

heard the drums. Intoxicating…”

“And what happened? Who won the match?” Arthur reflected on his days

in Malah when wrestling in this village was not only a sport, but was also used

for rituals and initiation of young men into manhood.

From when Malah boys could crawl, they were also taught wrestling

moves. They became so good they even picked up dance moves from animals

like cats, monkeys, tigers, lions, leopards, and snakes. It was amazing how

much one can learn from animals if given respect. For example, before he got

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree

15

married, Arthur dated so many women his friends were jealous. They could

not understand how a diminutive man like him could get so many women. And

not just any women. These were smart, beautiful, and successful women. He

had a little orange book where he numbered all his conquests, sexual styles,

and positioned used. When asked by his friends what techniques he used to

captivate so many beautiful women, he would jokingly say, “I learned that move

from the rooster; or the grasshopper thought me that.” Of course everyone

thought he was kidding. However, Dr. Arthur Morgan meant what he said,

but a person needed to truly have ears to hear him.

Before Arthur Morgan’s father died, he explained to his son why Arthur

had to get married and the spiritual benefits of marriage. While he learned a

lot from the Bible, Dr. Paul Morgan acknowledged he learned the practical

application of these biblical stories from Malah, which shadowed an Old

Testament-like culture.

“If you want to achieve certain things in life, you have to find the right

woman and marry her. She would bring you all the success you need. Drop her

without merit after you are successful and it is only a matter of time before you

are back to square one,” Reverend Dr. Paul Morgan once warned his son.

“The men of Malah were led to jail and the doors slammed on them,”

Reverend Morgan continued his story about Malah.

“Really?” Arthur asked, again doubting his dad.

“Shortly after that, I left the Malah village, as with the men in jail the

energy seemed to have changed and the women were getting hostile. I learned

things in Malah that no book could teach me.” Daddy Morgan elaborated on

the spiritual practices he learned from the village, thus initiating his son into

the spiritual practices he once experienced.

Dr. Paul Morgan also stole things from Malah which he could not write

in any book. When he figured out how the women wielded power, he broke

his own Christian doctrines to steal this knowledge. He left Malah running.

What he took from Malah destroyed the power that women held and hence

the society, families, and the threads holding relationships together. The

people started walking in darkness. Women became weak and men fathered

kids and abandoned them. Distraught women destroyed men unconsciously

and men destroyed families unconsciously. Men distrusted women and

women distrusted men. Laws made to safeguard the family instead created

increased insecurity, hence more separation. Eventually men swore off

marriage. Women stole kids from their fathers and fathers stole kids from

their wives, all of this legally.

16

Esther Lamnyam

This loss of power and binding energy by woman propagated and

replicated around the world. Millions of women were single and millions of

men were single. They were like parallel lines—all going in the same direction,

hardly to meet anywhere. If they did cross paths, the magical threads that

held relationships together had been taken away so these relationships

eventually crumbled. Millions of books and recipes were written to remedy

this breakdown, but families were still breaking up and kids were controlling

adults. Because parents had lost the knowledge of whom they were and

what they knew, they were ready for any new recipe. In desperation, many

well meaning new recipes were made; but the potpourri of ideas ended up

convoluting the relationships more.

Unbeknownst to me, Maya Sophia, the queen of Malah, had come back to

get this power and hand it back to the women. I was to be reeducated. I was

about to get an education on the laws of nature that govern relationships.

This is the story of what my village queen aunt taught me about nature and

relationships that city mothers did not.

17

Life, a Natural Sol-Fa

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree: What city moms didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationships

Dr. Arthur Morgan was one of the best surgeons and emergency room

doctors in the area. He not only loved his job, he romanticized it. He was

a healer, a customer service specialist, and a brilliant man. His zeal for life,

and everything about it, was reflected in his attitude. The more challenges he

faced, the better it was to be alive. He was like a handyman with tools during

surgery. Emotions soured during his toughest cases, and everyone knew it when

he paged his wife right after surgery and left the message “42.”

“42” was a term coined by his late father who practiced as a doctor and

missionary in the African village where Arthur was born. His father had

learned this language of numbers by breaking the secret code of the village

kids. He then used the resulting knowledge to infiltrate the mystical code of

the elders and usurp spiritual powers.

The number “2” was the key to the term. Seeing it, Arthur’s wife knew

he was on a high and only she could help him harvest that energy for a useful

purpose. Initially, she had not been so cooperative, but time and experience

taught her there was more to life and relationships than meets the eye.

Though Dr. Morgan’s personality exuded effervescence, number 2 did not

happen often.

It was 4:30 p.m. and Dr. Morgan had been paged in for an emergency

surgery. Patching up this kid would take about an hour, he estimated, and

he would be home in time to watch cartoons with his wife. Tonight was his

goof-off night; she would let him be a boy, which was what he had decided to

be when he grew up anyway.

Arthur was anything but typical; a pleasant combination of intelligent and

silly. He knew when to wear the right hat. Staying a kid, he could see things

from a level that grown-ups could not. Thus he always had the advantage

and, more often than not, he could solve any problem that was thrown in this

direction at work or at home. For MaryAnn Morgan, his wife of four years, it

was not love at first sight. It was intrigue at first encounter. I’ll tell you about

that later.

As news that little Micah had been hit by a car spread in the quiet Bethesda

neighborhood, the emergency room waiting room filled up with anxious friends

and relatives.

Thirty minutes earlier, five year old Micah had been playing soccer in the

yard with his friends Taylor and Kellie, while their mothers monitored them

from time to time through the kitchen window. They had been warned by their

parents not to play in the street.

Kellie had just dribbled past Taylor and kicked the ball towards the goal.

Micah tried to stop it but missed. As the ball wildly flew past him, Micah could

not break his run and found himself tumbling into the next-door neighbor’s

driveway.

Their neighbor, Mrs. Williams, had just rounded the corner into her block.

Her eyes were locked on the road ahead, which was clear of cars and people.

As she pulled into her driveway, she momentarily looked into the passenger

seat to grab her house key and garage opener, which she regretfully never kept

together. As she looked up, a thudding sound indicated that she bumped into

something, and simultaneously a spray of red swept across the front window

as deafening shrills pierced the air.

“What happened? Oh God, I hope I did not hit a kid!”

Five doors flew open at the same time throughout the close-knit

neighborhood. Both parents and children ran from their houses towards her

car. Horrific cries from Taylor and Kellie were signature signs that parents

recognized as “trouble!” Mrs. Williams had hit Micah with her car, and he

was bleeding profusely.

Someone had called 911 and the paramedics arrived within five minutes.

Even though she had been driving at less than fifteen miles an hour, the impact

on the body of a forty pound five-year-old was immense. Panic seized the

elderly lady as she imagined the possible outcome. Micah was like one of her

own grandsons. As the realization of what happened settled on her heart, she

broke into uncontrollable sobs.

Micah’s dad, Mr. James Walker, amidst all the noise and confusion looked

at her kindly and offered her comforting words. “It is not your fault, Ronda.”

He had the presence of mind to give her a quick reassuring hug as he got into

the back of the ambulance and sped off to Pierre Memorial Hospital.

The ambulance ride from James and Julie Walker’s home to Pierre

Memorial Hospital took five minutes, but it seemed like forever as he watched

paramedics inject tubes all throughout their son’s tiny body. Sweat beaded on

his wrinkled brow as James Walker knew his son’s life laid on the balance.

His nerves ate at his stomach, creating an urge to throw up. Though he was

a praying man, he could not focus on any prayer. His mind was on one thing:

his bleeding son helpless in front of him. The paramedics assessed Micah’s

situation and radioed the hospital, informing the ER doctors of what was to

come.

James Walker’s heart slammed against his chest and fifty-four years of

life flashed in his mind’s eye. Micah was his only child. He had wanted a

child, but only in a stable relationship, which had seemed to elude him until

he met Julie. Questions plagued his mind. Why hadn’t Julie been watching

Micah? Why were they playing out front when they had a large estate with

lots of grounds out back? What if he lost Micah? Don’t think such thoughts, he

counseled himself.

“Mr. Walker,” the paramedic broke him out of his panic, “calm yourself,

your son is in good hands and he will be okay. Dr. Morgan is on duty.”

Tears streamed down James’ face unawares to him. A foreboding feeling

plagued him relentlessly. How could something like this have happened? Why

him? The day had been a quiet, comfortable Sunday. Tomorrow would be

Memorial Day-a holiday and he had planned to it spend relaxing with Julie

and Micah. The suburban Maryland neighborhood was peaceful earlier today.

He owned a nice home. His life was finally the way he and other black brothers

dreamed of. He had a beautiful, faithful, doting wife, a good well paying job

that he loved at a company he owned, and Junior, the love of his life, his very

life blood. In one moment all of that changed. After Micah was born he rested

assured he would never die, as Junior was his mark on earth to show he had

been here and to continue his lineage. Now he ran the risk of losing Junior as

he laid on the gurney with the paramedics hovering over him. Everything he

cherished was at stake.

At the hospital, Micah was whisked into surgery room number 3 where

the reputable Dr. Morgan awaited them. The boy was still bleeding profusely

and needed immediate attention. James was rushed away as a primary blood

donor. Any time Dr. Morgan could use the patient’s own blood or family

blood he did. He had learned while in an African village that some things

about healing could not be explained in English. To the neophyte they were

mystical. Blood was one of them. Everything was set up in the few minutes

he had communicated with the paramedics in the ambulance. One beautiful

thing about Doctor Morgan was that all those who worked on his shift knew

his expectations, whether they were standard procedures or not.

The ambulance had left so quickly that Julie Walker rode in the car with

Angie, her neighbor. Angie was a single mom to eight-year-old Kellie and

five-year-old Taylor. They were best friends with Julie and James Walker’s son

Micah.

Julie was uncharacteristically calm. Angie glanced across at her and

observed Julie grabbing her purse so hard veins popped up on the backs of

her hands. Speechless, Julie’s eyes remained fixed on the road and she tensely

leaned forward in her seat.

“What did you say?” Angie asked. Then she realized Julie was talking to

herself…or was she singing softly?

At the time, Angie could not possibly predict how the incident would

change not only Dr. Morgan, Julie, and James Walker’s lives, but also her own

and that of her girlfriends. The waves of today’s events would resound deep in

their hearts for a lifetime.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/WAMS/2008/10/24/Author-Esther-Lamnyan-talks-to-WAMS Listen and  pass it on; Thank You!!

See Post on Excerpts.  Chapter 1, Chapter 2 & 3, Chapter 10 & 11

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree: What city moms didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationships

The Writing to Love Under the Kola Nut Tree.

My earliest recollection of writing is in fourth grade when I was disciplined for writing a ‘love letter’ to the boy I shared the desk with. It was not a love letter but I did not know how to explain it was a poem because we were not taught poetry at the time. The words had just flowed to me and I wrote them down.  Most of the time that is how I write, I can not control how and when the words come to me. I can see them, feel them and feel all they are saying and experience each word and character individually. Once the message is transmitted, it ceases. I could be a word, title, paragraph, a page or pages. What I have learned is that when it comes I better stopped all I am doing and write it down because it would not come exactly like that again…except when I was writing Love Under the Kola Nut Tree.

You see, I do not believe Love Under the Kola Nut Tree is really my book. I believe I was used as a channel for this book for if an idea or words came and I did not write them or wrote them but did not transcribe them to my story on my computer, it keep coming until I did so. Later I ended up with duplicates which my editor worked hard to eliminate. Some of the duplicates I believe were a way of Being trying to make Its point clearly.

Love Under the Kola Nut Tree: What city moms didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationships

How the book flows

I use the fable story telling technique used in the African village to show laws of nature are constantly at play and affecting us whether we are aware of them or not. I show how problems can be handled from a spiritual point of view by using the laws of nature which do not change or fail us. The laws of nature are immutable and are available to all creatures and races. These laws do not play favorites nor can they be manipulated.

My book gives the reader simple but powerful tools and concepts to build fulfilling relationships. It gives very easy practical applications that the reader can implement immediately that very day in their lives (e.g. circles, quadrants, developing spiritual sight, triangles, and colors.) This book draws the reader into the story and he or she recognizes himself or herself as they might have experienced (or are experiencing) some of the issues experienced by the characters.

My book using a fable-like parable story telling technique makes it easier for people to remember solutions. Stories and proverbs stay in the mind longer. Proverbs in a few words tell volumes and can have multiple meanings all of which enrich the person. People and children especially, remember lessons taught through stories for a life time (for example, the fable of the girl and the snake.)

The majority of humanity believes in God; the majority of humanity falls in love and experience amorous relationships and the resulting dramas. Most books focus on one – Religion/Spirituality/Mysticism or the other – amorous relationships. Humans worship reverently and also love passionately; this book is an amalgamation of what humans practice daily.

This book beautifully merges these aspects of humanity and the reader no matter their vocation can enjoy and also benefit from this book. We need to be who we really are; complete Human Beings — physical and spiritual; Being. Just as we nourish the physical through food, entertainment, exercise, sex, etc. we need to be mindful of the spiritual and this books shows us how to.

This book in a very practical way shows we are all connected and are in this together.

The chapter and section headings are very powerful and potent nuggets of information and wisdom. They can be used as a point of departure for a lecture, inspirational or motivational talk or even a book.

I started writing a purely romance novel but was ‘led’ to write this book instead. I was lead spiritually to write this book and times I could feel and experience the information being downloaded to me! I was guided as to what to address. Before writing this book, I travelled to Cameroon, West Africa to ask questions of ‘villagers’, elders, mystics and sages.  Of all the Western research I did, only one Book was the right resource which I indicate at the end of my book.

Some of the questions answered in “Love Under the Kola Nut Tree. What city mom’s didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationships” are:

• How can we created fulfilling relationships using comic laws
• How do we lay a good foundation?
• How can you rebuild broken relationships built on a crooked foundation or no foundation at all?
• How can we use Circles, Triangles, Squares, rectangles, quadrants, the sun and leaves to create fulfilling relationships?
• How to develop spiritual sight.
• Why are we all in this together?
• What is the real spiritual meaning of sex.?
• Why when young teens engage in sex prematurely their grades begin to slip and why young women can handle the provoked energy a little better than the boys.
• Why a man and a woman can live together for years as a couple but after being officially pronounced ‘husband (or man) and wife’ all hell breaks loose there after.
• Why man is consumed with Sex
• Why and how past sexual encounters still affect you today.
• How the villager men created energy for wrestling
• Why most men find themselves going round and round in circles and success keeps slipping out of their hands though very brilliant.
• What is the energy that is created when a man and a woman comes together in a relationship?
• Why do most successful men since Biblical times engaged their destiny more successfully after marrying?
• Why are more highly successful and creative men from time immemorial engage the company of women?
• How and why woman (Mother) and Mother Earth is the seed of all that is created on earth.
• The secret behind why virgins (women) were sort but still needed to be cleansed since Biblical times (e.g. Queen Esther, and Abishag in the Bible) and in Malah also.
• What happens when negative things done secretly come to Light?
• The creative power of thought, how/why it works and how to use it
• The power of the word, how/why it works and how to use it.
• Why as kids we were very successful with ‘verbal contracts.’
• What is prayer and how is it possible to pray without ceasing?
• Why a village or anyone who has never heard the words meditation, visualization, mantras and affirmations, can  still create successfully?
• Why is it that with elderly couples, if the woman dies first the husband might not live long after that, but not vice versa?
• Why do men come home (even to abusive relationships) even for a few minutes before going back out?
• Why is it that when a partner is fighting and you come to save the woman, she might even turn against you though all bruised up?
• What happens when a man ‘Yokes Into’ a good woman or a ‘bad’ woman?
• How man and woman can create at the highest level.
• Why partners come before children.
• Why man cannot leave his parents and cleave with woman (what it really means)
• Why is sex such an issue in the Western world while the rest of the world money is the issue?
• The secret of how King David in the Bible and other ancient greats created.
• The secret of using your name and knowing those of your ancestors.
• The power of touch, voice, looks and silence.
• How to know yourself
• Why evil is inevitable and how to transmute it as matter can not be created or destroyed but converted from one form to another.
• Why none of God’s children complained when Satan showed up at God’s family reunion with His kids (Book of Job.)
• Why woman is responsible for her own reproductive system and not a man.
• Why man is like a tree and woman like Mother Earth
• How to imitate the seasons of the year
• How to use your sport to ‘game’ your relationships such as golf, football, soccer, tennis
• Why and how relationships are for spiritual growth.
• What is the ‘stone’ and where it dwells
• Why Dr. Morgan stole the stone.
• Who Maya (Queen) Sophia really is.
• Why Angie’s boyfriends did not respect her and how she turned that around.
• Why the changing of the dollar bill will provoke havoc.
• How and why your success is the success of your family, your corporation, your country and hence the world…how we are all linked and in this together. You are a very important piece of the puzzle and without you the puzzle is not complete.
• How to form your own personal constitution; any successful Country, business and organization has one.
• How no matter what your problem is, it can be resolved.

Resolve issues on the topics above or others you may be interested in.

This Body, Mind and Spirit connection program is a unique highly effective program. We exists and function in multiple dimensions. We have to cognizant of that to create balance and harmony.

Ancient wisdom which I clearly write about in my book Under the Kola Nut Tree. What City Moms didn’t tell you about creating fulfilling relationships will be discussed.

Most ‘hidden’ wisdom in the world involves an oral tradition handed down by word of mouth to a privileged few. I’ll teach you the laws of Natures that are around us daily and available to all; you will use this laws to create all you want from good health, abundance, successful relationships (with people, and nature) and more importantly with yourself.

This involves coaching, creating a structured yet adventurous life. Every thing created on earth started with a thought. Learn how to harness your power and ability to create through constructive thinking. You can not think you will eat bananas and end up eating plantains.

I will help you get needle point clarity on what you should be focusing your life on and how to do it. Creating balance in our lives is not easy; I’ll will show you how to do all the things you want to do and still have time to nap, read, do business, spend time with your partner; time for kids, community service and hang out with a friend. I’ll teach you how to Feng Shui your life and not just your house. You’ll discover the power of the second and the minute.

I’ll teach you how to create fulfilling relationships using the laws of nature and cosmic laws that cannot be plea bargained, loop holed, manipulated, prenuptials, or bribed. Contact me for workshops for individual, small or large groups.

Let Your Light Shine...

As long as there is day, there will be night

There will be sweet tears and painful tears; rough times and smooth times.

This is part of the journey; all facets teach us…if we choose to learn. Nature will not take a break for you, you learn to attune with it.  I will teach how to create balance and harmony in your life and have fullness of joy.  Your very essence and spirit is perfect, how you make manifest that perfection is where the rubber meets the Earth. And Mother Earth does not play favorites. We all have lessons to learn and learn we must else we’ll repeat the lesson until we get it and then move on to the next.

You will be able to create balance at home and office so you can work, play golf, jog, or travel, deal with the kids and still have lots for time for you, your significant other, your family and friends.  I used to think it was impossible but learning to know Myself and Nature and how to use my mind showed me another way. I’ll share this with you. Be ready…things are about to get really exciting!!!

I’ll show you that just like there systems to your body, or basic food groups or seven days to the week or 24 hours to your day, there are certain basic systems to your interactions with Self, Man and Nature that your mind, body and spirit needs to be in balance. Once those nine basic systems get what they want, you get what you what. Many people focus on two or three areas of life and sooner or later their health or relationships are in trouble because they had been neglected.  Relax, help is on the way.  You will understand how some people can do so much and still have time to hang out with you….you will be that ‘some people’ soon.

Spiritual development is the recognition, realization and manifestation of the Spirit within us.

Practical Application makes manifest your internal dreams else they stay as just visions, fantastic and vain imaginings.

Under the Kola Nut Tree  teaches you to not only exercise your outer body and muscles but to exercise you inner organs that do most of the work to keep you healthy. Our internal system of exercises will awaken your body, give you a new found appreciation of the miracles of the human body.

We spend a lot of time exercising our external muscles. However, our internal muscles and organs need to be stimulated also. While a lot of us focus on the heart, the lungs and stomach, the body has a lot of other organs that also need our attention. I will show you how to exercise those internal organs that make you vibrant because if you wait until they complain it would be harder to get them back to normalcy.

For example we will show you stretching and massage techniques used by animals to stay lean, tough and agile.  There is a lot you can learn from Animals and Nature. We will show you exercise and breathing techniques that will help put you to sleep or get the 15 minutes power nap you so desire.

Breathe is the one thing we all can not live without for a few minutes. Among other things, we will show you how to use breathing to manage pain and eliminate it altogether, handle stress, awakened your body, and help circulation. Your body is more powerful and smarter than we currently know. It needs just a little help from us from time to time and it will fly with it.

I help you begin to acquaint yourself with you, this beautiful, complex machine that is a perfect orchestra, each organ knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it and does it.

Exercise within and watch what happens without!

Stretch like a Baby or Cat

Did you know your muscles have memory?

Did you know you can use breathing to reduce and completely stop pain?

Did you know you can stop migraines with your fingers?

Did you know you can rejuvenate your self and look years younger with just five different types of stretches per day?

Internal Exercises strengthen not just those beautiful abs but the internal organs that make you tick

With an Iris analysis you will get nutritional advice. Food is your food and medicine. Learn how to combine foods, how to use food as medicine and as a preventive. Learn how to eat to feed your cells so they are can support and protect you better. Learn the vitamins/minerals, herbs, antioxidants and enzymes that each body organ needs and how to get them.
You are what you eat, what you assimilate, digest and excrete. How you eat and how you combine the foods you eat is very important. I will teach you how to eat to feed your cells not just your appetite.

4 Types of Herbs:

Aromatics

a. How the herb tastes:  Usually spicy, hot, strong pungent taste.

b. How it affects the body:  It is a stimulant and stimulates all areas of the body.

c. What herbs are aromatics:  All your kitchen spices such as rosemary, thyme, sage, pizza  seasoning, also herbs such as peppermint, others in the mint family, capsicum,

d. When should they be taken:  With food and when stimulation is necessary to help aid in digestion and circulation.

e. Should everyone take them?  No, not if there is high blood pressure or other hyper activity in the body.

f. When should they not be used:  Same as e above.

Mucilaginous

a. How the herb tastes:  Usually has very little taste.  Maybe like a root.

b. How it affects the body:  It acts as a lubricant and soothes mucus membranes.

c. What herbs are mucilaginous:  Any herb that absorbs water such as mushrooms, asparagus, Psyllium, slippery elm.

d. When should they be taken:  They should be taken when there is inflammation in the body or when someone wants to do some cleansing using a bulking agent.

e. Should everyone take them?  No, not if there is Diverticulitis or large bowel pockets.

f. When should they not be used: If there is Diverticulitis or large bowel pockets.

Astringent

a. How the herb tastes:  Sour

b. How it affects the body:  It acts as a diuretic and eliminates water from the tissues.  It forces the kidneys to eliminate water.

What herbs are astringent:  Any herb or food that makes you pucker or dries out your mouth such as lemon, citrus,

c.  When should they be taken:  When someone is retaining water or has kidney weakness and is unable to eliminate excess water on their own.

Should everyone take them?  No, not if there are issues with heart problems and dehydration.

d. When should they not be used?  When a person has heart problems and dehydration issues.

Bitter

a.  How the herb tastes:  Bitter

b.  How it affects the body:  Cleanses the elimination systems:  liver, spleen, lymph, kidneys, lungs, bowel.  Acts like a soap or saponin in the body.  Helps rid the body of toxins.

c.  What herbs are bitters:  Any bitter tasting herbs such as cascara Sagrada, dandelion, Pau d’Arco.

d.  When should they be taken:  Usually on an empty stomach with water only.

Should everyone take them?  Only those who are strong enough to do internal cleansing.

e.  When should they not be used?  When a person needs to build up their system first.

An Iris analysis will show inherent constitutional strengths and weaknesses in your body. With this knowledge, we can now formulate a healing and maintenance plan and you can select a diet and lifestyle which can optimize your health and avoid many illnesses. The best cure is prevention.

Iridology is the only science that tells inherent weaknesses.  We die from our inherent weaknesses.  Disease migrates to our weaknesses.  We become toxic laden because we cannot detoxify.  Inherent weaknesses tell us where the minerals are needed.

With an Iris Analysis:  You will learn what your eyes say about:

- The inherent constitutional strengths and weaknesses in your physical body and how to cope with life

- Potential for health problems and how to avoid them

- Where your body is likely to break down under stress

If you know where your weak links are, then you know exactly what you have to do to protect yourself so you can live a long and healthy life

By knowing your inherent constitutional strengths and weaknesses you can select a diet and lifestyle which can optimize your health and avoid many illnesses.

You are not just what you eat, you are actually what you assimilate.

He gave us the trees and the plants to be our food and medicine.

Schedule An Iris Analysis today